


Inner Strife #2: Love Me

by B_eden



Series: Inner Strife [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gay, Guilty Conscience, Happy Ending, Hint of Angst, Incest, M/M, Sburb was just a game, Stridercest - Freeform, falter in facade, fulfilling, insecure Bro, no sburb session
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 15:25:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17449559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_eden/pseuds/B_eden
Summary: Bro wakes up with Dave in his arms and struggles with his conscience about what happened last night before. Dave wakes up and blows his mind.





	Inner Strife #2: Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry that I can get the italics to work. When it suddenly sounds like they're talking to themselves it's supposed to be in italics. It shouldn't be too distracting.
> 
> If you wanna know more about me as a writer and a person, (plz follow I get so lonely) you can follow my:
> 
> Blog: https://caspercrowblog.wordpress.com  
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/CrowCasper  
> Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/writercaspercrow

Bro had to admit that he was feeling pretty goddamn insecure. Not that he’d show it on the outside. 

 

He awoke the morning after Dave’s eighteenth birthday with his arm hooked around Dave’s midsection so firm there was no question, he had no intention of ever letting him go. Oh, shit. What had he done? Holy shit he’d fucked his little brother. Sure, Dave had started it when he’d kissed him, but then Dave had freaked out in some kind of overwhelming panic attack thinking that Bro was homophobic and going to kill him. Bro had taken him to his bed to comfort him and...

 

And Dave had begged him to love him; to keep him forever; to fuck him. And, oh god, Dave was just as fucked up as Bro, he’d realized. The only thing wrong with that picture was that it had to be Bro’s fault that Dave was so fucked up. He was the older one. Dave was his responsibility, and he’d somehow royally fucked up. Dave was cool on the outside, but inside it was clear that he was a nervous wreck, and it was because of him.

 

He hadn’t mean to scare him all these years. He hadn’t meant to seem so disappointed in him or disgusted with him. It’s only that, when Bro witnessed any submissive or weak behavior, he’d always pictured Dave facing the world without him, and it terrified him. When Dave was younger Bro knew that some sick freak would look at him and want him, so he tried his best to train him to hide his emotions and defend himself. He knew that some monster would want him because, in all honesty, Bro was one of those monsters. It wasn’t that he was disgusted with Dave, but that he hated himself. 

 

He was goddamn lucky that Dave had been too insecure to tell Bro about his feelings when he was younger or...Bro didn’t want to think about it. It hadn’t happened. He had made it; at least, he had made it to Dave’s eighteenth birthday before shit had hit the fan.

 

Now everything had changed with one simple press of Dave’s lips to his. He no longer saw every drop in Dave’s facade as a weakness that would draw in a monster. He no longer saw Dave’s inability to hold his own against him as danger for Dave out in the world. Instead, all Dave’s submissive quirks were meant just for him. Dave belonged to him; truly. It wasn’t something that Bro was counting down the days until he’d lose. Now he wasn’t on the verge of being forced to turn Dave out into the world all alone. He could read his every weakness and revel in it.

 

Bro carefully unwound himself from the warm, naked body beside him and went to retrieve his sunglasses and take a shower. He tried to keep his self-loathing in check as he lathered his hair, but his dick was getting hard thinking about how his goddamn younger brother was asleep in his bed at that very moment; exhausted in some kind of sex and fear coma. But he’s just as sick as me, right? 

 

That wasn’t true. Bro had simply found a baby and had kept the motherfucker, and why? What kind of man did that? Was he going to be honest with himself now? He made goddamn puppet porn for a living. He relished the idea of molding a real human being; building him up to worship him and making sure his mind and body reacted the way Bro wanted to every stimulus he might offer up. But, as much as he’d had to drag his own mind out of the gutter, had he ever truly expected Dave to like him like that? In the back of his black heart he had wanted; he had hoped, but he had never expected it to happen. 

 

Did Dave really like him like that, or had Bro just fucked with his head so much that he didn’t even know what he wanted? He wondered if Dave would wake up and scream in horror; leave and never speak to him again. Maybe he’d play it off cool and then kill Bro in his sleep. Not that he could sneak up on him, but would Bro really have to heart to stop him now?

 

He toweled dry and mulled over how he should handle Dave still in his bed. Should he give him some space? No. He didn’t want to chance Dave waking up without him there and feeling some kind of insecurity that Bro regretted what had happened, even if that’s the exact insecurity that Bro was feeling himself as he wondered how Dave would react when he finally awoke. 

 

He dressed and brought Dave’s shades and an extra can of soda to set on the table on Dave’s side of the bed. Dave’s side of the bed. Then he did his morning sit-ups, push-ups, and pull-ups, and ate a couple of Poptarts. He gazed down at Dave’s peacefully sleeping body and glanced at the clock. It was still pretty early in the morning for a growing teen. Fuck he’s still technically a teenager. 

 

Bro pushed the thought from his head and brought his game system from the living room to hook up to the TV in his bedroom. He crammed a bunch of pillows between his back and the headboard and kicked back on his bed to level grind until he had the minimum needed to beat the next boss. He got a little too involved in the game and didn’t notice Dave twitching in distress until his brother sat bolt upright screaming Bro’s name.

 

Bro dropped the controller but managed to master the calm in his voice. “Dude.” Dave spun around with wide eyes. The fear melded into relief, but then he seemed to realize where he was and how naked he was, and a flash of doubt crossed his features. “Chill.” Bro smirked a little and Dave’s expression was quickly replaced with something desperate and bittersweet. He’d had the dream about Bro dying again.

 

Bro had been right not to leave him there and go out or even watch the TV in the living room. Dave’s eyes scanned him taking note that he had clearly been awake, and then down to the game controller in his hands and to the television. 

 

“Drink.” Bro nodded toward the table behind him and Dave whirled his attention there immediately at even the hint of Bro suggesting for him to do something. He shoved his sunglasses on his face and chugged probably half of the soda before stopping to gasp for breath. It was then that he seemed to remember his nakedness. His face tilted down, and he tangled his fists in the sheets to pull them around him. 

 

“Wanna talk about it?”

 

Dave seemed to think too hard before answering. “Talk about what?”

 

“Anything.” Bro shrugged. “Your dreams. This game. Me molesting you.”

 

He sat the drink down, hugged his knees, and then forced himself to master his body language. He glanced to Bro and then totally lost himself again. Bro held his arms up as Dave dove toward him and wrapped his arms around his waist as if he’d come back from the dead. His hand adjusted the brim of his hat nervously before he finally lowered his arms and rested them on the shivering body now in his lap. 

 

Dave was tense until Bro scooted him around to a more comfortable position between his legs. Dave started to sit up, but Bro pulled him back down to rest on his chest. Dave’s heart pounded painfully hard at the forbidden proximity as Bro reached for the controller. He rested his arms on top of Dave’s body and unpaused the game as if he was okay with being there for a while. 

 

All Dave could think about at that point was just how goddamn cool Bro was at everything in life. He was grateful that his aw of Bro’s smooth actions were distracting him from his nightmares. He relaxed down, his skin heating when he realized Bro’s crotch was right beneath his chest.

 

Bro glanced down. He could feel Dave’s bare skin against his arms below his gloves and it was very distracting. He was so vulnerable; still so trusting even after everything Bro had put him through over the years. That fact had terrified him before, but now...

 

God I’m such a sick bastard. He swallowed heavily as he began to feel pressure building between his legs. How long will it take him to hate me for this? Does he already? Probably not. He probably still worshipped him. Bro had sure done a number on his psyche. 

 

Dave felt the growing bulge beneath him, and, on a whim, he pressed down while pretending to squirm to get more comfortable. Bro was so lost in his thoughts of the past and his self-loathing that he panicked. A large, gloved hand violently flew to Dave’s back to still him from moving. It was an instinct to try and stop the motion that was causing the monster in his head to want.

 

Dave froze, but not before a gasp escaped him. He was about to sink into a depressive fit of confusion when he felt Bro’s hand smooth against his shoulder blades and his thumb feather against him in an apologetic caress. His other hand sat the controller to his side and carefully drifted up to rest on his head. His stomach muscles tensed when Dave nuzzled his face against him in response to the touch. He could feel the warm air of his labored exhales through his shirt and it didn’t matter if it was because of anxiety or arousal, it was working fast to turn him on. 

 

He didn’t need to lose control right now. He needed to do that talking thing he was so bad at and find out just exactly what was going through Dave’s head. He needed to be responsible; show restraint. He should probably at least untangle his hand from Dave’s hair enough to make him stop whimpering. His fingers relaxed when he realized what he was doing. He slid his hand down to feather against the back of his neck instead. He should be concerned with how hard Dave was refusing to look up at him, and just how hard Dave had begun to shake.

 

Dave hesitantly played with the hem of Bro’s shirt for too long before he finally slid his hand beneath the fabric. He could feel Bro’s skin jump at the sudden contact, but while he still had the nerve to continue, he hooked his digits and dragged his short, jagged nails down his side. 

 

Bro didn’t mean to arch up. He was so busy trying to command his body to stop being so responsive that he forgot to stop the hiss that snuck past his lips. He looked down when Dave aimed his sunglasses up at him and god, he was proud of the deadpan expression he saw there but holy hell did he wish he could read him more clearly. Dave’s lips parted and it was only then that Bro realized his own mouth was hanging open. He couldn’t stop his hand from moving to rest on Dave’s cheek. His thumb had a mind of its own as it gently made its way to trace his bottom lip. Bro was trying to remember something. Something about how he was a horrible person and needed to-

 

The kid caught him off guard again when he sucked Bro’s finger into his mouth and dragged his tongue from the leather at the knuckle all the way to the pad of his thumb. “Fuck-” He cursed, completely distracted from how Dave’s hands had landed on the fastenings of his pants and was making quick work of them. 

 

The fumbling quickly drew his attention and he moved his hands to Dave’s shoulders as if he might stop him. Instead he only squeezed when Dave leaned down and blew hot air through the cloth of his boxers right over his cock before pressing a firm, open-mouthed kiss to the fabric. A strangled noise escaped him when Dave hooked a finger in his waistband, and oh god this was humiliating but he wasn’t going to last if he put his mouth anywhere near him right now.

 

He finally gathered himself enough to reach down and hoist Dave all the way back up his body. He meant to say something; he really did, but then Dave’s mouth was on his and he remembered that Dave was naked only because he’d just managed to drag their lower halves right against one another and all that came out was a sex-starved, desperate groan.

 

This seemed to give Dave far too much confidence. He actually goddamn smirked as he sucked Bro’s tongue and sank his mouth deeper into the kiss. Then, before Bro could remember motion was even an option, he sank down a bit and dragged his hips back up Bro’s body achingly slow. Bro’s hands landed heavily on Dave’s hips and he mewled into Bro’s mouth at the firm movements as he guided his body against his. Bro was only able to pull them against one another a few times before Dave’s entire body tensed and he made the most adorable, geekish noise of embarrassment as he emptied himself all over Bro’s cock. 

 

His sunglasses slid down his nose and the older man had a perfect view of his eyes rolling back while his thin arms shook trying to hold himself up. It didn’t take long for him to melt down against Bro’s large, heaving chest to try and catch his breath.

 

Bro was staring at the ceiling in shock and thanking all the gods of sick beats that he didn’t embarrass himself when he suddenly felt Dave’s mouth on his throat and knew that the gods had forsaken him. He didn’t even try to speak or act this time as Dave slid down his body and tried his best to engulf the entirety of his dick in one swift go. Bro’s hands flew up to clench against the headboard and it was the only thing keeping him from bucking up into the warm heat and choking his goddamn baby brother. 

 

He didn’t dare to look down, so that left him with a view of his own quaking arms and the posters of Ben Stiller and the Golden Girls he’d ironically taped to his ceiling. That helped a little, but not nearly enough as his rebellious brain reminded him that Dave had just unloaded all over him and, holy god, he was now gulping down every bit of that mess as he accidentally gagged himself on his prick. Bro didn’t even know he could make such erotic noises as he completely lost his cool and started cursing or praying or both, and then he lost it in what had to be record time for him. He didn’t register the sound of the headboard creaking dangerously or Dave glancing up to watch him through it all as he arched up with an almost pained sounding yell. He wanted to hate himself but, fuck, Dave was making more gagging noises, even as he managed to swallow like a pro, and Bro’s brain turned to a hazy mush of blissfully void afterglow.

 

When he started to come back to his senses, he realized he was still unleashing a slew of curses and snapped his mouth shut to regain control of his facade. He released the headboard and stared at his hands in confusion as they refused to stop shaking. He opted to tangle his fists in the sheets before even trying to look down at Dave, but fuuuck, his vision adjusted from his hands to Dave’s outline just as Dave dragged his arm across his mouth to wipe it clean, and Bro pulled at the covers a little too hard.

 

“I love you, too.” Dave’s monotone voice wasn’t nearly as steady as usual being as his throat had just been demolished. He was doing a hell of a job, though, of returning Bro’s deadpan stare as Bro tried to come to terms with the fact that, fucking hell, yes, he did vaguely remember babbling something about how much he loved Dave. One of Dave’s eyebrows arched above his sunglasses when a shiver rolled down Bro’s spine. God how was Bro so affected when it was he who had taught the kid how to be this hot in the first place? He’d inadvertently taught him how to reflect everything he thought was attractive and damn if he couldn’t yet file through everything he might have just said to Dave while he was holding him captive there with that stare.

 

“Aaand I think you started talking to Satan at some point there?” Dave’s eyebrow lowered back out of sight as Bro gulped. “Oh, and I’m apparently the divine embodiment of all the ever fuck loving angels of heavenly prick mastering; or something of that nature.”

 

Bro’s mouth was dry. “Don’t you fucking tell anybody that...that I...” His words uncharacteristically failed him.

 

Dave took mercy on him, though he did it without any readable body language. How he was managing to keep control of the situation while naked, Bro wasn’t sure. “Oh, shit, really? But I was just about to log onto Pesterchum and update everyone I know about how my ridiculously hot older brother makes the most addictive sounds during sex and, by the way, everyone, Dave Strider is now the god of cocksucking.”

 

Bro could barely disguise a humorous huff, but he managed pretty well as his heart finally started to obey his command to slow down. He decided a subject change was his best bet at this point. “Let’s order Chinese.” Smooth.

 

“Fuck, yeah.” Dave’s composure faltered slightly when he moved to stand and realized he was going to have to move around Bro’s room in the buff. Bro was proud of how quickly he recovered, pushed himself up, and gave the impression he had all the confidence in the world as he swayed around the foot of the bed and explained simply, “Shower.”


End file.
